Here's a memory for the Old Perfesser that seems all too appropriate:

Once upon a time you warned of Ron Swoboda, shortly after he was seen

hopping up and down in the Met dugout trying to get a stomped-on helmet

off his spikes, “He thinks he's being unlucky, but he's gonna be

unlucky his whole life if he don't […]

I am not going to speak of any other sport. I am not here to argue about other sports. I am in the baseball business. I started in professional ball in 1910. I have been in professional ball, I would say, for ninety-five years. I have been employed by numerous ball clubs in the majors […]

Tonight I did the first thing I do when I panic — I listened to the FAN postgame.

It's a good way to calm down, because 90% of the people who call in

are, by comparison, completely insane. And indeed, apparently this is

all Kaz Matsui's spot, and he needs to be benched, moved to the 9 […]

If it really is 1964 all over again — Texan in the White House, a single artist dominating the pop charts, Mets getting their suck on early — I have one question:Where's our new stadium?Oh, it ain't 1964. Dubya's no LBJ. 50 Cent's no Beatles. And Carlos Beltran could buy, sell and outhit the third-year […]

OK, I'm no longer so philosophical. In fact, I'm in the Valley of the

Shadow of Something Not Good. Like I'm imagining the proto-bloggers of

1988 Baltimore gathered around crabs and beer, grousing that their damn

team is 0-3 and wondering when it's going to end. Where does the AP get off invoking Jack Fisher and George Altman […]

“Wow, this is a really good sandwich. Who wants to ask me about it?”Willie, what's the deal with the double-switch?

“The Double-Switch Deal? You mean how when you come in to your local Subway and you get twice the meat and twice the cheese at half the price? Yeah, what a deal!”No Willie, we're talking about […]

Forgive me for summing this one up before it's official. Fear 1, Faith 0.

All hail the unanticipated kingdom of Joe Randa — at least Howie's not

around to point out once again that he was a paper Met. And hey, we got

Juan LeBron for him. Did Juan LeBron even reach Binghamton? *

So many embarrassments tonight. There […]

With 161 games remaining, our once-beaten closer has two choices:* Getting bogged down in his mistake* Climbing back on his proverbial bikeYes, it's BONER OR PEDAL for BRADEN LOOPER.

(That's all of them, I promise.)I'll bet there were some equally stupid things written about the Opener. I'll have to bet because I refused to read any […]

Man, it sure sucks that we lost the seventh game of the 2005 World Series yesterday afternoon.

What's that? We didn't? Are you sure? You'll have to forgive me then, because that's the impression I got from this morning's papers.

Here's Filip Bondy: “Sandman! Cue Sandman! Sorry, no Sandman. Very clearly, this was no longer the […]