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Get Me to a New York Hospital

The Mets played in Pittsburgh Friday night versus the struggling Pirates.

The Mets played in Pittsburgh Friday night versus the struggling Pirates. [1]

It was a beautiful night for baseball at glorious PNC Park.

It was a beautiful night for baseball at glorious PNC Park.

The Mets jumped out to an early lead.

The Mets jumped out to an early lead.

Victor Zambrano pitched eight brilliant innings.

Victor Zambrano pitched eight brilliant innings.

Despite some questionable baserunning, there was no stopping the Mets.

Bad baserunning was just the beginning of the Mets' troubles.

Ramon Castro had hit a big home run and contributed to some insurance tallies in the top of the ninth.

Ramon Castro got confused on a ball that hit off the wall and with some help from Manny Acta got himself thrown out at home to kill what should have been a bigger inning.

Aaron Heilman came in in the ninth to preserve the win for Zambrano.

Heilman didn't look at all sharp and managed to load the bases.

Braden Looper entered with the bases loaded and two outs. He had a four-run lead and needed to retire just a single batter, a simple task for such an accomplished closer.

Braden Looper couldn't get one fucking out.

Looper toyed with the overmatched Tike Redman.

Looper couldn't get his fastball past freaking Tike Redman who fouled off pitch after pitch until, on the twelfth pitch, he singled home two runs.

Up 5-3, Looper would close the game against ex-Met Matt Lawton.

Freaking Lawton, who never should've been a Met in the first place, drove a sinking liner into left.

Cliff Floyd, overlooked as an All-Star but playing great defense lately, moved in on the ball and ended the game with a neat catch.

Cliff Floyd, looking like a goddamn Little Leaguer out there, first seemed to lose sight of the ball then tried to dive for it and then let it go by him which allowed the tying run to score.

In the top of the tenth, the Mets took the measure of Jose Mesa and regained the lead off the shaky veteran reliever.

It took all of five pitches for Mesa to get the Mets in order.

Looper regained his composure when he started the bottom of the tenth.

Why the fuck was Looper on the mound to start the tenth? Ohmigod, it was like watching Byung-Hyun Kim out there!

With one out, Rob Mackowiak grounded out to second, Cairo to Offerman.

Cairo freaking rushed his throw and it sailed ten feet wide of Offerman who never should be allowed to play first base under any circumstances. It went into the camera box and Mackowiak wound up on second. Natch.

With two out, the Mets elected to walk Daryle Ward and pitch to the little-known Humberto Cota. The percentages said this was the correct move.

Humberto Cota, whoever the fuck he is, singled home the winning run. The Mets, having led 5-1 with two out in the ninth lost 6-5 in ten. According to ESPN, it was the first time the Mets had blown a lead of that size at that juncture of a game since Neil Allen gave up a game-winning grand slam to Bo Diaz in 1983.

The win sent the Mets on the roll many of their fans said was just a matter of time in coming, making the predictions of those who wanted to “throw in the towel” on 2005 seem premature.

Empty the freaking linen closet.