I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell…
The Mets have run the Howard Beale clip from Network on DiamondVision for, I think, the last eight seasons. I don't have a handle on the success rate in terms of rallies and runs that stem from its still-clever-if-tired segue into the LET'S GO METS! chant, but it seems to get the fans going.
Peter Finch's contextless rant from almost 30 years ago is as good a limb as any on which to hang the Mets' marvelous home record. Even with Sunday's flopfest, they're 40-25 at Shea. That's a 100-win season if we could bribe Bud Selig to let us play all our games at home (and you know we probably could if we really tried). If it's not Network, maybe it's the landing pattern into LaGuardia or the mysterious wind swirls or the orange onslaught the opposition experiences from the unfilled field level seats. Whatever it is, we have a definite home-field advantage.
And we are helpless on the road. I won't re-enumerate the examples of our terrible tourism except to say that the Mets are 23-35 away from Shea. That's a 64-win season if our enemies could bribe Bud Selig to make us play all our games on the road (and you know they probably could if they really tried). Obviously there's something missing from road games that is present at home games that is causing the Mets' performance to drop so dramatically when on a business trip.
I don't think it's Howard Beale. I don't think it's the airplanes. I don't think it's the breeze or the colors or even the absence of friendly, feral cats.
It's the fans. It's what Mets fans bring to Shea. It's what the most full-throated Mets fans do at Shea that apparently spurs the Mets on to greater heights.
The love…the support…the educated and instinctive rushing to the aid of the home team…
Nah, that's not it.
It's the booing. It has to be.
What is more constant at Shea Stadium than the chorus of Mets fans telling the Mets all they are doing wrong? I don't know what it says about our boys, but obviously they respond to abuse. 40-25 can't be an aberration.
With the Mets in Arizona all week, it will take some doing. With San Francisco the next stop, it will take a little more. But I know we have it in us. So let's do this together, all of us.
Inhale deeply.
Concentrate.
Get your lungs and your mind in a place where they can work in tandem and do the most good.
Ready? All right, then.
I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell…
HEY METS! YOU SUCK!
BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
GO BACK TO YOUR PREVIOUS TEAM OR TEAMS!
YOUR FAILURE TO PRODUCE VICTORY AT EVERY POSSIBLE OPPORTUNITY RELECTS BADLY ON MY SENSE OF SELF!
YOU PITCHERS SUCK FOR NOT RETIRING EACH BATTER IN AN EFFICIENT AND TIMELY FASHION!
YOU HITTERS SUCK FOR NOT MOVING RUNNERS OVER, DRIVING THEM IN AND/OR DRIVING YOURSELF IN AT THE SAME TIME!
YOU FIELDERS SUCK FOR NOT ACHIEVING A STATE OF INFALLIBILITY!
HEY WILLIE — YOU USE YOUR PLAYERS IN IMPROPER COMBINATIONS AND NOT AT OPTIMAL FREQUENCY!
YOUR SUCCESSES ARE NOT CONTINUOUS! YOU OFTEN ALTERNATE VICTORIES AND DEFEATS IN RATIOS THAT ARE UNPLEASING!
I PREFER VICTORY AND ABHOR DEFEAT! GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!
TRY YOUR BEST! IF THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH, TRY HARDER!
BE REPLACED BY OTHER, BETTER PLAYERS AT ONCE!
BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! YOU SUCK, METS!
There. Now that we've made the Mets feel at home while they're on the road, good things are sure to follow.