You may now purchase Finazzle Grout Cleaner and Finazzle Soap Scum Remover at all Home Depot Stores in Florida, Georgia, Alabama, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Washington DC and in the Philadelphia area.
All Finazzle products are also available at all Publix Supermarkets.
Finazzle Grout Cleaner and Soap Scum Remover are absolutely guaranteed to do exactly what they say they do, or your money back. Our toll free number is listed on every bottle.
Hello, Finazzle [1]? I want my money back. I see the sign for your product behind home plate at Turner Field every game I watch from there and you've done nothing about cleaning the grout of the Mets' batting order let alone removing the scum that's infested almost every game we've ever played down there.
Hello?
Serves me right for depending on a product sold in every N.L. East town but ours.
You know what's particularly irksome about losing to the Braves in situations like this? I mean particularly? It's that the Mets never stop being beaten by the same fuckers who've been doing them in since 1997. Who beat us today? Andruw Jones and Chipper Jones. Sure, Francoeur played a predictably immense role (I predicted it yesterday [2] and I am indeed agitated — and am still agitated about Julio Valera, Cesar Cedeño and Luis Aguayo from other Septembers) and of course John Thomson is still getting even with us for whatever prank Charlie Hough and Mike Bacsik played on him three years ago. But Andruw and Chipper? Same as it ever was. Time stands still and smokes 'em if it's got 'em where those two are concerned.
Andruw? OK, 45 homers, predictable enough (I can't wait 'til he tests positive). But Chipper? Chipper? Again? They just get done telling us how lame he's been all season and then he sees NEW YORK embroidered onto polyester and parties like it's 1999. They'll be waking this weasel up at the age of 78 and activating him on September 1, 2050 just so he can keep his consecutive-year streak of eating our hearts out intact.
Who's going against us Tuesday night? I mean besides us? Oh, that fresh young arm Smoltz. He's 107-3 lifetime versus the Mets. Should be fun.
Pennant fever. Get a shot for it.
As good a centerfielder as Andruw Jones is, the Mets once had a better one, even if he wasn't such hot stuff by the time he got to us. I give you 24 good reasons why the Mets should retire No. 24 for Willie Mays at Gotham Baseball [3].