He is the very model of a modern big-game pitching ace
Ignore info about his age and all those lines upon his face
Thrown inning after inning shutting every darn opponent out
From Spiezio to Yadier while making Albert Pujols pout
Very well acquainted, too, with hurling at this time of year
The only arm we have right now that doesn’t flat inspire fear
Defeating teams both now and then with stunning regularity
Never thought we’d welcome him with such familiarity
Eat ’em up Tommy with the light brown hair.