INT. — AN APARTMENT IN BROOKLYN — AROUND 6 PM ON OCT. 19, 2006.
JASON, an extraordinarily tired-looking man in his late 30s, enters stage left. He is dressed entirely in Met gear. He plops down on a worn couch in front of a coffee table, then quickly gets back up again.
JASON
(muttering and pacing)
Ohmygod, it all comes down to Oliver Perez. The whole season. Oliver Perez. Against Suppan. Ohmygod.
He sits back down on the couch, gets up, repeats this, puts a gray Mets cap with a stars-and-stripes NY on his head, plucks it off, and finally exhales deeply. He's obviously agitated. Haunted, even.
JASON
There's only one thing to do.
He looks around furtively, then walks quickly to a bookcase and removes a round object covered with a silk hankerchief. The hankerchief is adorned with baseballs and question marks. He takes this mysterious object, still shrouded by the handkerchief, and places it carefully on the coffee table.
JASON
Here goes nothin'.
He sweeps the hankerchief off the table, revealing a crystal ball, and stares into it. The ball begins to glow faintly.
JASON
Tell me, oh baseball gods, what's going to happen tonight. I need to know.
CRYSTAL BALL
(eerie voiceover)
Patience! All will be revealed within hours.
JASON
Uh-uh. I'm going crazy. Tell me!
CRYSTAL BALL
Heed my warning — prophecies are an uncertain business.
JASON
Yeah, whatever. So's getting a sac fly with the bases loaded and one out. I need to know!
CRYSTAL BALL
Very well. If you must ask … ask.
JASON
Oh baseball gods, tell me — who's going to win tonight?
An eerie wind sweeps through the room. The crystal ball pulses blue, orange, red, black and orange.
CRYSTAL BALL
The next game the New York Mets play after tonight … will be against …
JASON leans forward, mouth agape.
CRYSTAL BALL
… the Detroit Tigers.
JASON
Woo-hoo! YES! YESSSS! World Series, baby! YEAH!
He begans dancing around the room, hands raised in joy.
CRYSTAL BALL
Remember … the answer you receive may not always match the question you ask.
JASON
(distracted)
You say something?
CRYSTAL BALL
Oh, nothing important [1].
JASON
(muttering and pacing)
Ohmygod, it all comes down to Oliver Perez. The whole season. Oliver Perez. Against Suppan. Ohmygod.
He sits back down on the couch, gets up, repeats this, puts a gray Mets cap with a stars-and-stripes NY on his head, plucks it off, and finally exhales deeply. He's obviously agitated. Haunted, even.
JASON
There's only one thing to do.
He looks around furtively, then walks quickly to a bookcase and removes a round object covered with a silk hankerchief. The hankerchief is adorned with baseballs and question marks. He takes this mysterious object, still shrouded by the handkerchief, and places it carefully on the coffee table.
JASON
Here goes nothin'.
He sweeps the hankerchief off the table, revealing a crystal ball, and stares into it. The ball begins to glow faintly.
JASON
Tell me, oh baseball gods, what's going to happen tonight. I need to know.
CRYSTAL BALL
(eerie voiceover)
Patience! All will be revealed within hours.
JASON
Uh-uh. I'm going crazy. Tell me!
CRYSTAL BALL
Heed my warning — prophecies are an uncertain business.
JASON
Yeah, whatever. So's getting a sac fly with the bases loaded and one out. I need to know!
CRYSTAL BALL
Very well. If you must ask … ask.
JASON
Oh baseball gods, tell me — who's going to win tonight?
An eerie wind sweeps through the room. The crystal ball pulses blue, orange, red, black and orange.
CRYSTAL BALL
The next game the New York Mets play after tonight … will be against …
JASON leans forward, mouth agape.
CRYSTAL BALL
… the Detroit Tigers.
JASON
Woo-hoo! YES! YESSSS! World Series, baby! YEAH!
He begans dancing around the room, hands raised in joy.
CRYSTAL BALL
Remember … the answer you receive may not always match the question you ask.
JASON
(distracted)
You say something?
CRYSTAL BALL
Oh, nothing important [1].