Keep plenty of Pepto-Bismol on hand for the opening series of the year. You'll want the dark pink kind to combat that queasy feeling you'll get from seeing too much red.
On Sunday night, according to Paul Lukas' Uni Watch, the Cardinals will swaddle themselves in commemorative patches and gold trim to honor their 2006 World Championship. On Tuesday night, they'll be handing out rings to everybody who enters Busch Stadium — everybody but the Mets. And the night after, each of their fans gets a replica World Champions banner that measures three feet by five feet.
FEET!
That's a big ol' keepsake they're giving away to everybody. You could fit a lot of treasured but tiny 8″X6″ TD Waterhouse 2000 National League Champions flags on that kind of square footage. That's on top of the mounted rings that go to all fans and the replica World Series celebration locker room cap for kids. Except that this stuff says Cardinals, it's a pretty awesome haul.
If my team showered me in such treasures, maybe I'd smile a lot and behave like a Best Fan In Baseball, too. If we'd won, you know the most we'd be getting would be a ceremonial wipe of the seat from a commemorative usher, redeemable only with the exchange of the first two George Washington photographs out of your wallet.
But if we'd won, we wouldn't care, because we'd have won.
Sigh.
Anyway, the Cardinals are doing it up right, which is their prerogative, but one component of their Salute To Themselves is a bit much:
The team will also honor its 1967 and 1982 World Championship teams in recognition of their 40th and 25th anniversaries, respectively, with such standouts as Lou Brock, Bob Gibson, Whitey Herzog, Keith Hernandez and Bruce Sutter scheduled to attend.
Which of those Cards is not like the other? Right. There's a Cardinal in there who became a Met on June 15, 1983 and we're not giving him back. I know it's just for an evening, for festivities' sake, for milestone purposes (and who wallows in a good milestone anniversary more than me?). I know we're not swapping him out retroactively for Neil Allen and Rick Ownbey. I know The Baseball Encyclopedia doesn't come with disappearing ink for everything he accomplished once his paychecks weren't signed in Bud.
But no sir, I don't like it. I don't like that Keith would forgive the Cardinals when a measly quarter-century has yet to pass. I don't like the way Keith yammers on a little too fondly about his Cardinal days during Mets telecasts. I'm a little worn by his yammering on about his Met days during Mets telecasts, actually, because I could use a touch more yammer about these Met days during Mets telecasts, no matter what kind of hammer Atlee Hammaker dropped on him for strike three when the world was young, but that's another story.
Keith the Cardinal was outstanding. Keith the Met remains iconic.
Keith the Cardinal won a World Series. Keith the Met won the World Series.
Keith was a Most Valuable Cardinal. Keith was The Indispensable Met.
Keith was their star. Keith was our Captain.
If Keith were entering the Hall of Fame (if only petitioning made it so), then which cap do you think he'd be wearing? Which cap do you think he should be wearing?
Keith is Ours as few have been even if we keep issuing 17 to every Dae-Sung and Lima that comes down the pike (pending massively wonderful revelations to the contrary, David Newhan ain't worthy either). The Redbirds renounced their Keith rights when Ratzog discarded him not eight months beyond that '82 championship they're suddenly intent on marking. St. Louis turned on Mex. Mex turned on New York and we were totally plugged into Mex. For all his Keithfoolery on the air, it doesn't take much to close one's eyes and picture in his prime the Second-Greatest Met of the First Forty Years — fielding, hitting, leading…always leading. Leading us in '84 and '85 and '86 as he targeted the gray at Shea and replaced it with sunny bursts of blue and orange. Those colors, like Keith, were Just For Mets.
Keith Hernandez invited back by the Cardinals? On one of his myriad days off from the booth, I wouldn't blink because I understand the concept of completism and squaring circles and players honoring their pasts because they are the fans' pasts, too (Ozzie Guillen would scoff at such sentimentality, but when doesn't Ozzie Guillen scoff?). That he's throwing out the first ball for our Home Opener makes me feel somewhat less queasy, but trotting out Keith Hernandez as their own on the night they raise their flag in our face after having secured it at the expense of us…pass the Pepto.
 
Faith and Fear in Flushing made its debut on Feb. 16, 2005, the brainchild of two longtime friends and lifelong Met fans. Greg Prince discovered the Mets when he was 6, during the magical summer of 1969. He is a Long Island-based writer, editor and communications consultant. Contact him here. Jason Fry is a Brooklyn writer whose first memories include his mom leaping up and down cheering for Rusty Staub. Check out his other writing here. Got something to say? Leave a comment, or email us at faithandfear@gmail.com. (Sorry, but we have no interest in ads, sponsored content or guest posts.) Need our RSS feed? It's here. Visit our Facebook page, or drop by the personal pages for Greg and Jason. Or follow us on Twitter: Here's Greg, and here's Jason. |
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I want to go to St. Louis and somehow get into that game, just to run out on the field and burn that motherf**king flag at Yadier F**king Molina's feet. I'd prefer the real one, but the commemorative one will do just fine.
This Cardinals thing may be a direct result of Jerry's reticence in helping him move and how the whole Elaine thing turned out.
Keith as a Met was infinitely more interesting and popular than Keith as a Card. Keith the Card was know for being a Civil War freak, a bad husband, selfish, possibly gay(not that there's…) and a coke fiend (perhaps).
Keith the Met was know as an intimidating defender, a strong influence on a team of ill-fitting individuals, a man about town in the New York tradition and dead sexy (perhaps) and totally not gay. Keith the Met was 100 times cooler than Keith the Card and, in the grand scheme of things isn't that what counts most? It does in my book.
Joel
Hi Greg,
I agree – Keith is ours. His Shea finale was accompanied by standing ovations while his reward from St. Louis was exile from Bush Stadium II. He should take that ball and slam it to the ground rather than throw it to the catcher.
I was taken back when Mex announced he would throw that first pitch Sunday night. It's going to be hard enough watching the team that was lucky enough to be in the right division at the right time receive undeserved world championship rings without Mex jumping ship. But being a reunion of Cardinal world championship teams softens the blow enough to perceive it as being forced to attend a disfunctional family reunion with relatives one can't stomach.
Let's not forget – Keith is not only a Met, he's a New Yorker as well! So come the first inning, he will be back in the broadcast booth, talking kindly about his long lost relatives for an inning or so and then forgetting them completely as the game goes on.
He could have gracefully declined, under the circumstances.
Nah,
… too much peer pressure. Besides, this way he can dig into those manic depressants by letting them see how much better off he is being with the Mets and living in New York City.
I defended Mookie… Keith is just being, well, Keith. I'm not surprised. I think it's horrible, but I'm not surprised – and am surprised that anyone is really surprised.
i think. did that make sense?
This is one of those times I really regret that Pedro isn't pitching the home opener. If ever chin music would get up and make me dance, this would be the night. (And no, I don't generally like the beanball, but “we're going to use one of the key players from your last World Series win to rub your noses in the fact that we beat your and everyone else's asses last year” sounds like an occasion that merits a freak exception.)
While it's true that our Mets– each to varying degrees, Wright, Wagner, Glavine, LoDuca, Green, etc. etc.– failed to execute, the Cardinals didn't have to go and take advantage by winning. Now I'm angry, too. Greedy Cardinal bastards!
And those fans! Where do they get off, being all happy? They should be ashamed of their team's cheap little win.
And raising the championship flag at their home opener! Who the hell does that?
The Cardinals would do well to emulate the class and restraint of the '86 Mets when tempted rub other people's noses in their own good fortune.
Erratum: Not “home opener.” Just plain “opener.” Of course the Mets' home opener is against Silly, not St. Poo.
The '86 Mets may have been a bit, shall we say, unrestrained, but the '87 Mets were thoughtful enough to disable/deactivate at least one key pitcher (usually more) for every series so as to make their title defense more sporting.
Now that's class.
I fear Jim Edmonds would swoop in and become hailed as the new Rick Monday.
If we'd won, you know the most we'd be getting would be a ceremonial wipe of the seat from a commemorative usher, redeemable only with the exchange of the first two George Washington photographs out of your wallet.
Very funny.
I'm suddenly gripped by the urge to tip one of these guys with Met Money now, just to see what happens.
A message pitch to Jimmy Rollins or, even better if he's battng ninth, Brett Myers, wouldn't be out of order either. Not braining anyone, just back off the plate, self-proclaimed team to beat.
Who wants to bet Met Money from Shea will be unaccepted currency at Citi Field?
Not sure if that will be policy or just the likelihood that the denominations will be too small to buy anything with.
“wipe of the seat from a commemorative usher, redeemable only with the exchange of the first two George Washington photographs out of your wallet.”
Glad to know I haven't been over-tipping or stiffing them — that is two photographs for two seats, right? (Hope it's not two photographs per seat.)
I'm a one seat, one photograph man if I have to be a photograph man at all. Usually I'm a sit down before they can find me guy.
And you know how much I love HIM!
The season-ending groin injury would be well worth the arrest.
I don't give them anything. I'm perfectly capable of finding my seat (blindfolded, if need be), pulling it down and swishing a filthy rag over it. Personally I'd much rather the filthy rag not even indirectly touch my rump.
Luckily I'm so rarely seated in my old field-level stomping grounds now that I don't even have to deal with those leeches anymore.
Mookie in the ski cap watching Preston in the World Series? A fashion faux pas but he was there in an unofficial parental capacity and (one guesses) asked somebody for something warm to put on. Can't get down on a veritable Little League dad cheering his son at the highest level.
If he were wearing that hat with the Mets on the field, I might be be initiating court proceedings.
Buy a ticket in the Upper Reserved or have no ticket at all and plant your ass squarely in front of me in the Loge. Be verbal but bereft of humor, insight or baseball knowledge. Combining this with being really drunk serves as a perfect cloaking device if you're looking to evade the notice of a Shea Stadium usher.
At least from what I've seen.
I don't know that I've ever read a more perfect slogan.
The 2007 Mets: The season-ending groin injury would be well worth the arrest.
How do you think these guys stay ushers for so long — by workin' at it?
I wonder if the Corps will make the move east in 2009. I foresee tens of thousands of fans and hundreds of personnel moving in clueless conflicting circles.
You've got the right book in my book.
So many brushbacks, so little time!
And did I say “get up and make me dance”? Who do I think I am, Ralph Kiner or somebody?
Once I didn't know what to do. The usher took us to our seats only to find mine was missing!
Somebody took the concept of “buy seats at Shea” literally.
“Smithers”
Eeexcellent
CMB
I'll be happy to take one for the team where that f**ker and his evil cohorts on the C-words are concerned.
“Plenty of good seats available” has a whole different meaning to some people.
“Hey Cletus, wouldn't those blue plastic seats look darlin' next to our pallet table?”
Yeah, the Mookie episode was momentarily jarring, but quickly dismissed and free pass issued. It's his kid. That's different.
And nobody's “surprised” that Keith agreed to do this under the circumstances (we've had too many years of Keith to be surprised by anything he does or says), just some of us are disappointed. That's also different.
And as Greg pointed out, the Mets were not on the field. Keith will be representing the team that STOLE the World Series from us, with us right there. Cheating on your spouse is one thing, but you don't do it right in front of him/her.
They would have understood if you'd said no, Keith.
Albertsonmets, I think I love you.
Don't forget: openly smoke a carton of cigarettes (or a sackful of joints) and defiantly brandish one bright red or blue beer bottle after another in the sorely limited non-alcohol sections. Also guaranteed to ensure the selective blindness of Shea ushers and, ahem, “security” staff. You know, the ones in the orange shirts who spend the game clustered in the concourse area, smoking and gossiping?
Always thought of Brian Cashman as Waylon Smithers.
From all I've heard, Rusty Staub is probably a more apt comparison than Brian Cashman.
Not that, you know, there's anything wrong with that.
or a sackful of joints
Now available at White Castle.
I'm thinking job description more than ancillary lifestyle issues.
Which would make Jim Duquette the luckless Frank Grimes.
Would really look great next to the Danbury Mint's Shea Stadium end-table
It would, wouldn't it?
We will, by the way, be the opponents for the Atlanta's Home Opener as well. They will raise nothing.
OK…, will meet you at Shea at 3:00 AM – remember to bring your screw driver.
There's probably a Dismantle Shea Night Sponsored By Ace Hardware promotion in the works for '08.
He preferred to be adressed as “Dukey.”
Except our ire, no doubt.
(Didn't we, um, quite enjoy pulling this flag-raising thing in front of them in 2001?)
That was very nice. And we did it without dragging Warren Spahn, Felix Millan or Greg McMichael onto the field.
He was a drunk, a bad father and he struck out way too frequently.
I don't need a special night at Shea, I'm happy to diss Mantle any old time.
Home Depot's already signed on for Screw Joe DiMaggio Night.
“He was a drunk, a bad father and he struck out way too frequently.
I don't need a special night at Shea, I'm happy to diss Mantle any old time”
That's why I said to bring a screwdriver….
Yup, Ole Grimey was the best…
I'm not here to defend Keith at all for doing this, but I must add that he is not broadcasting that game, as it's the ESPN2 opener. If SNy was broadcasting that game, I have a feeling he might not be on the field in St. Louis…