Good evening. Today is Wednesday, September the 24th, and this is my last broadcast. Yesterday I announced on this program that I was going to commit public suicide, admittedly an act of madness. Well, I'll tell you what happened: I just ran out of bullshit.
Am I still on the air?
It's not the Howard Beale spiel you're used to seeing on DiamondVision but it was the particular Paddy Chayefsky gem from Network that seeped to mind in the midst of Wednesday night's Mao Tse-Tung Hour of a baseball game.
Last night I got up here and asked you to stand up and fight for your heritage and believe the Mets are still en route to an inevitable division title — also admittedly an act of madness — and you did and it was beautiful.
But I think that was it, fellas.
That sort of thing is not likely to happen again, because at the bottom of all our terrified souls we know the Mets are a dying giant, a sick, sick, dying, decayed athletic concept writhing in its final pain.
I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. First base isn't being covered. Double plays are going unexecuted. Balls are not cut off in center. Baserunners are stretching singles into outs. Opposing pitchers, if they're not flipping bats at will after smacking the third of three consecutive home runs on three consecutive pitches, bark in the faces of our hitters, unburdened by the slightest hint of retribution for their unsportsmanlike conduct. Sluggers carrying lifetime averages of .280 are retired with ease and regularity. Leads are taken and immediately surrendered. Series after series piles humiliation upon embarrassment upon debacle. Ricky Ledee is starting in left.
We know things are bad — worse than bad. They're crazy.
If anyone needs me, I'll be lying down on the railroad tracks…
Fell asleep with the Mets up 1-0. Woke up to see Garciaparra scoring. Shut the TV off. Then woke up before dawn stewing in anger. Obviously they'd lost. Maybe they'd at least show Brad Penny that they don't let rockhead pitchers show them up without consequences. Nope.
I'm really beyond furious right now. This team sucks, fine — every team sucks now and then, even for two-week stretches. But they also look like they couldn't give a shit that they suck.
And now Roger Clemens, the Satanic rockhead of all Satanic rockhead pitchers, hiding behind the skirts of the DH? Fanfuckingtastic. I love this game.
I took David W's advice from a few blogs back (“Days of Future Post”), and fell asleep last night with the ESPN ticker reading:
METS 1 DODGERS 0 Top of 2nd
Now that's two hours of restful sleep that I'll never worry about needing to have back in my lifetime.
It wasn't so long ago – late April, early May – that I'd see the Mets in a two or three run hole early and just know they'd find a way to dig themselves out of it. Now, I see “METS 1 DODGERS 0 Top of 2nd”, and I just know they'll find a way to step in it and twist an ankle.
Sigh…
Hi Greg,
I also fell asleep with the Mets ahead 1-0 only to wake up in shock to hear that final score. Well, all five of our starters have failed us in a row.
Remember the up-lifting advice you gave me yesterday? If not, I'll refresh your memory:
———-
” Re: Daze of Future Post
by Joe D. on Wed 13 Jun 2007 01:28 PM EDT | Permanent Link
Hi Greg,
How do you think I feel right now, a Met fan working in a sea of Yankee fans? I'm still keeping the faith
although the fear is starting to flush… in. Just two wins since June 2nd – it's a nightmare.
The worst part of Maine's three-pitch fiasco was that Kuo's blast was the hardest hit of the three.
Reply
Re: Re: Daze of Future Post
by Greg on Wed 13 Jun 2007 05:30 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
Feel proud. Your team couldn't play much worse for two week and stands in first. Their team has played
brilliantly for two weeks and is still almost ten games out and just got to .500. The season is longer than
two weeks.”
——–
Since you're now thinking along the lines of Paddy Chayefsky, I'm afraid that bright outlook for the future is slowly changing to:
Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see…
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please.
I try to find a way to make
all our little joys relate
without that ever-present hate
but now i know that it's too late, and….
The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
So this is all I have to say.
the only way to win is to cheat
and lay it down before i'm beat
and to another give my seat
for that's the only painless feat.
The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger…watch it grin, but…
A brave man once requested me
To answer questions that are key
Is it to be or not to be
And I replied 'oh why ask me?'
cause suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please,
and you can do the same thing if you please
When will this madness end?
To the tracks…I'm tellin' ya…
And what about the Brooklyn Bridge? I know Jason's not far away. But before we do that, we have an Anti-Christ to bludgeon. We do owe him that much.
Karma's a bitch. For years I mock the Chokees for their roster laden with steroid cheats. So we sign one, he shows up, and… we suck. Yankee-level suckitude.
Mota must be excised to end this curse.
Since we're all having second thoughts on player personnel moves, maybe Omar should have kept Chad Bradford (2.88 ERA with Baltimore), Cliff Floyd (hitting .304 for the Cubbies), not signed Alou and (when the outfield injuries mounted) have had Willie reach out to his old friend, Bernie Williams.
Don't get me started on Bradford OR Alou. I've maintained from the start–all the millions we could have saved by keeping Nady/not signing Green, and not signing Alou… could have been spent on pitching. Like keeping Bradford.
But I'll pass on Bernie, thanks.
Foster's Disease. Named after George Foster.
I'm not going to comment on the Alou/Floyd situation because my feelings keep on shifting. At first, I wanted the Mets to re-sign Cliff not only for sentimental reasons but for his bat, defense and age and pass on Alou. Then, when Alou was hitting, driving in runs, and not costing us too much in left, I felt differently. Now that he has been out a month I'm wanting Cliff back.
Will wait till the end of the season before passing final judgement. If Alou comes back in a few weeks, stays basicly healthy and continues hitting, we'll forget that we should have kept Cliff. If Alou spends more time on the DL, then we'll say to Omar we told ya so.
Keeping Nady means no Oliver Perez. Bradford wanted way more money than he's worth, and Smith is filling in that role pretty well. Floyd is only play part time these days. Mota should not have been resigned, but lets not forget how pivotal he was for us last year.
Are we going to bring up the Mike Jacobs deal next?? The team is underperforming, sure, but lets not forget the overall genius of Omar.
“Oliver Perez” could have easily been replaced with the millions we saved. Bradford wanted what he was worth. Joe Smith was filling in that role pretty well.
As for Mota, I don't care how pivotal for us he was last year. This is now. What he did last year isn't helping us now. However, what Nady and Bradford are doing this year would be helping us now.
Let's face it, this has become a season of what-ifs.
It's Alomaraloma, with slight undertones of Burnitzitis.
Incidentally, Carlos Delgado in 2007 is an era-adjusted dead ringer for Willie Montanez in 1979 except for a few more big hits and a lot less style.
Then, when Alou was hitting, driving in runs, and not costing us too much in left, I felt differently.
In retrospect I'd prefer we had let Cliff go, not signed Moises and instead had unfrozen Ted Williams and had him regenerated as his 1941 incarnation. Unless Ted was having a bad day, in which case I'd be against that and would instead trade Cliff, Moises and Teddy Ballgame's DNA for Stan Musial.
The only two pitchers that were worth anything in the off-season were Zito and Suppan. Suppan has one more win. Perez has significantly better numbers in K's and ERA than both those guys at a much lower cost. I think that's worth losing a guy who's never hit more than 17 homers in a year.
I also agree with Omar in that a non-closing reliever who cant go more than one inning is not worth 3.5 mil over 3 years. Besides, while Bradford does have an ERA of 2.88, Smith has one of 2.51.
It's not time for fear to permanently replace faith yet.
Reliever ERAs are a waste of time. That is not to endorse the nonsigning of Bradford or specifically to wish him back here. It's just that given that they so often come in with other pitchers' runners on base, earned runs don't mean that much.
Bradford for three years seemed like too much…which is why Schoeneweis for three years, except MAYBE for his being a lefty, seemed like too much. Only thing I'll say in slight defense of that signing is the market had shifted dramatically in the short time Omar had passed on Chad and went for Show.
Relievers are a crap shoot to begin with. Ideally I wouldn't sign any of them to more than a two-year deal and even then I'd be stingy.
Shit…. You got me with Schoenweis.
Ok, maybe Omar should've given Bradford his money.
Where are Tug McGraw's “plusses” & “minuses” when you need 'em?
“What's that disease that rots your brain and eats away at your motor skills?”
Being a Yankee fan.
Relievers' ERAs ARE a waste of time, because they're based on 9 innings… which makes them 100% irrelevant to the reliever's role. Not to mention the fact that letting inherited runners score does squat to the reliever's ERA, which is misleading. I could fill a book with vilified starting Mets pitchers whose ERAs were unfairly inflated, while the relievers who inflated them remained blameless because their ERAs stayed pristine.
Are we done shaking out the fucking sillies?
What this team needed to do Wednesday night was get stinking drunk on the long flight back to NY.
Sleep it off Thursday and come back on Friday with some fire.
Experience has taught us this is the best way to break out of a slump of any kind – baseball, work, relationships, etc., etc.
Willie should impose a 4 drink minimum on MetsAir for cross country flights following a sweep and before an off day.
P.S. Nobody here mentioned the J.C. / Russell Martin connection from last night's game? That was the first thing I thought of. Sadly, it was the highlight of my evening.
Delgado/Montanez? Sure..Why not?
What does your gut say to you this weekend Greg?
All you guys know its just the Mets being the Mets..Right?..Remember the Montanez years boys. Last I checked we are still in first.
Cool
Rich
Tomorrow's headline in my mind:
METS DON'T LOSE, GAIN 1/2 GAME ON ATLANTA
C'mon, Laurie, give those Twins one more pep talk.
That was one hell of a pep talk. The Braves did a fantastic Mets impersonation in the 9th tonight. I forgot what it was like to “enjoy” “baseball.”
My gut is on hiatus until further notice. It remembers the Montanez years all too well.