Why can't pitchers hit even a little better? Who knows more about pitching?
Why don't catchers facing a pitcher they used to catch hit .750 against that pitcher? Who knows more about that pitcher's thinking?
Why are so many pitchers so nuts about not allowing anyone to talk to them on the days they start? Will they forget it's one for fastball, two for a curve?
Why are ballplayers always shown departing for a road trip in a jacket and tie? In what other business are you required to dress one way for your travel and another for your actual job?
Why is there a lingering obsession about how players wear their pants, their socks and their stirrups? “They're too high!” “They're too low!” “They're old school!” They're just pants, socks and stirrups.
Why are older-style uniforms considered traditional and somehow unimpeachable? Maybe the genuine tradition is just starting now and everything before now was all wrong.
Why do retired or veteran ballplayers perpetuate this myth that it's just not like it used to be when I came up, we'd stay and talk baseball with the older guys, now everybody rushes out of the clubhouse? I've heard at least two generations of ballplayers who have been assailed by their elders for not caring nearly as much about the game insist they, in fact, were the last of that dying breed that cared about the game. Can we assume just about everybody who plays the game cares about the game in his own way?
Why does almost every batter stand and watch his deepest fly balls sail toward the fence? Don't they know what a home run looks like? Have they been clued in that not every ball hit well leaves the park? That it's better to run so you can be on third instead of second or second instead of first should the ball not be gone or not be caught? Is it common knowledge among the players that all the games are televised and usually recorded by the clubs themselves?
Why do pitchers who discover magical arm angles that save their careers forget to employ that arm angle eventually?
Why doesn't Willie Randolph “challenge” every player the way he “challenged” Cliff Floyd two years ago? Remember that? Floyd had been injured and a little lethargic in '03 and '04 and then has that Monsta year in '05 and the line all season from Willie was “I challenged Cliff and he responded.” Great work. Do it again.
Why does a pitching coach wear a uniform while a trainer wears slacks and a golf shirt? Each man sits in the dugout most of the time and only runs onto the field in an emergency. They may as well wear the same getups.
Why do stadium A/V squads play songs like Billy Joel's “Pressure” to taunt the visiting team's young, often Latino relief pitchers who probably have no idea about the message being conveyed and that they're supposed to become unnerved by such a clever jukebox selection?
Why after all the bad publicity attached to chewing tobacco about a decade ago have I noticed what seems like a plethora of Skoal cans in players' back pockets this year?
Why does Shawn Green lean against his bat in the on-deck circle like a man waiting for a bus?
Why does Shea sell blue cotton candy? When did cotton candy start coming in a color that isn't pink? If they're gonna sell cotton candy in blue, why not sell half of it in orange?
Why do I look at the out-of-town scoreboard at least six times per half-inning even when I know damn well no other game besides the one in front of me has begun?
Why does almost every announcer tell us the potential tying run will be coming to the plate “in the person of” Johnny Estrada? What are the odds Johnny Estrada will come to bat reincarnated as a dining room table?
Why, if nobody likes it, is the volume turned up so loud on every bit of pregame and between-innings business? I've yet to hear anybody tell me “it's great the way they've got the decibels goin' tonight!” In fact, I've yet to hear anybody tell me anything without me begging pardon and asking it be repeated.
Why don't the Mets hand out more bobbleheads and hand them to adult fans who pay the freight and seriously collect that kind of stuff?
Why are we told who is sponsoring this call to the bullpen but often have to wait until after the commercial to be told who the call was for?
Why do people who know you're going to a game say they'll look for you on TV? They won't, and even if they do, the chances are remote they'll find you unless you're Christine Glavine or some gesticulating idiot with primo seats behind the plate?
Why doesn't somebody clean up all those mysterious puddles that materialize every few sections in every concourse? It's a wonder more fans don't slip and more lawsuits aren't filed.
Why do regular people get days off while baseball teams get off days?