They all felt something
But I felt nothing
Except the feeling
That this bullshit was absurd
—Diana Morales, A Chorus Line

There’s your team sucking and there’s your team when they suck. It’s admittedly a fine line, but the Mets have decisively crossed it. The Mets are no longer a team sucking. They’re a team that sucks.

Really sucks.

They played badly […]

A recent Facebook status update from yours truly: Watching the 2009 Mets is like smacking yourself in the head with a pan for three hours a night. And yet here I sit. WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WTF is wrong with me?

Livan is still in, because what's the point. Padres rotate around the bases like a pinball […]

Sweaty day from an atmospheric standpoint. Horrible day from a hamstring standpoint. Resilient day from an adversity standpoint. Relaxing, perhaps invigorating day from a post-delusional standpoint (if the Mets and Cards should meet in the playoffs it could get pretty steamy once more…though if the Mets are in the 2009 playoffs, October will be a […]

On July 4, 1914, the Boston Braves languished in eighth place in the eight-team National League with a record of 26-40, which left them 15 games out of first place. They won 68 of their next 87, took the pennant by 10½ games and then swept the defending world champion Philadelphia A’s in the World […]

“They battled.”

It's a line that makes any Mets fan cringe and mutter, remembering a miscast Art Howe facing the chop-licking New York media after another loss. It was Art's kindly placeholder comment, his verbal shrug of the shoulders, his way of not saying, “What do you think I can do with this collection of once-weres […]

Five years ago today, Bob Murphy, the flagship voice of the New York Mets, passed away at age 79. He lives on in audio archives as well as in the hearts and memories of Mets fans everywhere. At the end of each home victory at Citi Field, public address announcer Alex Anthony offers the “Happy […]

Jules, y'know, honey…this isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them…there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it […]

On June 19, 2001, a new Mets farm team took the field at Jamestown, N.Y.'s Diethrick Park. The Brooklyn Cyclones had arrived — attended by the kind of hype that's not exactly normal fare for the New York-Penn League. The Cyclones were bringing pro baseball back to Brooklyn, and in doing so were healing (at […]

If the Mets were the hero of an old-time serial, they'd arrive in the nick of time to shoot the dastardly villain and gallantly reassure the screaming girl tied to the tracks. And then they'd struggle with the knots and get a spur caught in the rail as the locomotive came around the bend.

Splurk! Ooogh, […]