My Signature Citi Field Day, 2013

Prior to the All-Star Game, I heard and read that Citi Field was about to have its first “signature moment,” which I thought was a pretty misguided assessment, considering HELLO! NO-HITTER! on June 1, 2012. I’d also throw in a “hey” to that 20th win at the end of last year. I get what those takes were getting at, that Citi Field had yet to host a playoff or World Series game, thus it hadn’t really been fully observed by a national baseball audience since its opening in 2009.

People are somehow paid to contemplate those angles. As the constant fans of the home team, we don’t much care what viewers who aren’t normally interested in the Mets think of what goes on in Flushing. If what happens at Citi Field stays at Citi Field, fine. It stays with us regardless of whether anybody else is looking in.

Yes, the All-Star stuff was a big deal. So was Johan Santana’s filling of a half-century void. So was R.A. Dickey putting a round-numbered cap on a sensational campaign. So was Matt Harvey bettering Stephen Strasburg this April and almost completely stifling the White Sox in May. So were various walkoff wins and individual offensive feats (not that there’ve been a ton of the latter) that have transpired in the post-Shea era.

Some of the losses have qualified as big deals, too. I’m literally not in the business of peddling stories from games where the Mets didn’t come up winners, but those provide signature moments whether or not we choose to embrace them. Sad signature moments, like with your pen running out of ink and the last letters coming out all scratchy and illegible, do happen.

For me, in this year of Harvey Days, Harvey Nights and other scattered highlights, the first half at Citi Field was defined more than anything by one game in particular that went on. And on. And on. And, yes, on. As we prepare to commence the so-called second half of the season (a.k.a. the final 43.83%) on what we hope is a continued upswing, I’d like to use this opportunity to recall my signature moment at Citi Field thus far in 2013, one that I look forward to looking back on on someday and laughing at when we won’t be able to believe how bad the Mets once were…and how long they took to confirm it.

With apologies to Rupert Holmes, I give you “Extras (The Ruben Tejada Song),” based on an all too true story.

I was tired of my ballclub
They’d been in extras too long
Buck was mired in a deep slump
Ankiel’s swing was all wrong

So as they stood there flailing
I scrolled through Twitter instead
After a rant about Duda
There was this Tweet that I read:

“If you like Ruben Tejada
“And being tied with the Fish
“If lingering in Promenade
“Is your deepest-down wish

“If you like leaving lots of runners on
“And your train’s not ’til late
“You’re a Mets fan who’s chronic
“And you have no escape”

I didn’t think about Ike Davis
I know that sounds kind of mean
But our big slugger Ike Davis
Had fallen down to a paltry one-fifteen

Murph flied out to the Mo’s Zone
As I let out a bleat
Then I clicked on my cell phone
And typed my own little Tweet:

“Yes, I like Ruben Tejada
“And being tied with the Fish
“It’s too late to find food here
“Concessions closed in the sixth

“I’ve got to meet you by the Caesars Club
“If I can just dodge that guard
“It gets pretty pricey here
“They prefer Mastercard”

So I waited with high hopes
In this vast empty park
The game stayed very much deadlocked
The sky began to grow dark

It was my own fourth-place Metsies
And they said — “oh, what fun”
Then we laughed for a moment
It was still tied at one

“Yes, we play marathon innings
“And we can’t beat the Fish
“And it feels like forever
“Since that LaFrieda sandwich

“We’ll get you out of here by midnight
“Or by dawn — no, we swear
“Somehow you’re still a Mets fan
“Though you’ve had it up to here”

Yes, I like Ruben Tejada
Though I have to come clean
Quintanilla’s got a better bat
Of course I cheered Valdespin

Look, it’s getting close to midnight
My train’s approaching Woodside
Could you please get this over with?
Or I’m gonna need a ride