Beat the Mets, beat the Mets
Step right up and sweep the Mets
Sorry kiddies, they’re playing flat
Guaranteed to want your money back
Because the Mets are really sucking this year
They’re 12 behind; it’ll get worse I fear
From Dodgers to Giants, everybody’s comin’ round
To beat the M-E-T-S Mets of New York town!
Growing up on Long Island, I was pretty much the only non-Yankee fan in my neighborhood and I must have heard that several hundred times, which seems to have left it stuck in my head forever. (The dirt-bike kids’ version was a little different; I altered some socially Neanderthal lines for our nominally more enlightened times.)
That song was playing in a loop in my head while the Mets took a very long time to wind up with nothing against the Dodgers. The game was mildly diverting for a spell, particularly when Kevin Plawecki, of all people, connected for a game-tying three-run homer. Even in the worst season, a three-run blast will make me smile, at least a little bit. Another Kevin, Kaczmarski, made his big-league debut and almost beat out a little trickler for a hit, one he would have been forgiven for slowly morphing into a sizzling line drive over the coming decades. I got to see Drew Smith a day after being MIA for his debut, and the kid was one of just two Met hurlers to emerge unscathed in Mickey Callaway‘s Reliever-a-Rama. I thought Brandon Nimmo‘s hand was broken but X-rays were negative, meaning the Mets won’t be stripped of one of their only players worth watching. (Though it’s not like the Mets haven’t missed fractures before, so we’d be advised to wait and see.)
But the mildly diverting part of the afternoon did nothing to alter my certainty that the Mets were going to lose, and the only question was how. Granted, the Mets losing wasn’t a bold prediction, not with the Dodgers connecting for Citi Field homers at a record-setting pace. My money was on a Joc Pederson homer in the ninth, and Pederson did go deep — but in the seventh, so what do I know. Anyway, I knew they were going to lose, and when they did I just shrugged. Maybe the frown was a little deeper than it would have been without Plawecki’s brief rebellion, maybe the shrug was a little wider — but does it matter? A Mets loss is perilously close to a sure thing these days, as this once-promising season staggers along, accompanied by my childhood tormentors’ favorite tune.
I went to the game today and can’t remember a time I was less emotionally invested in what was an otherwise interesting game. I guess being 12 or 13 games back on June 24th will do that to you. I’m staggered by how over the season feels and I’m pretty sure most of the team has checked out at this point.
well at least the mets didn’t tease us with a win.
for a couple of minutes i thought the 3 game win streak wouldn’t be followed by a six game correction.
there is a sort of dark perfection in this team’s wretchedness.
My wife and I met nearly 35 years ago, and while she is as true blue and orange as any of us, she has ad-libbed countless versions of “Beat the Mets” over that time. Some songs just write themselves.
I am very confident that “x-rays were negative” means that we will have an outfielder known for the rest of his career as Four-Finger Nimmo.
Heard the same tune growing up in Elmont during the 60s-most seasons we had 100 losses–I got used to it.
In High School in 1969, big-mouth Yankee fan made a big deal betting me on World Series–told a lot of kids in school.
When Mets won series, the next day in School, the loser yankee fan made a big deal of paying his $10 bet–I told him his money was bogus and to shut up and go away.
As to this Mets team now–I’m 66 1/2, hope they can re-build before I croak!
Let’s Go Mets!
The Bay Ridge variation: Meet the Mets, Meet the Mets, Step right up and beat the Mets.
By 1965, even the Mets had gotten tired of that song, replacing it with one that had the shrugging refrain: “There’s nowhere to go but up!” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7o5qQVa2p54
Still holds up, no?
At least Justin Turner didn’t do any damage.
Just for that final twist of the knife, right?
best thing mets i read today not at this site:
https://nypost.com/2018/06/24/sandy-alderson-is-destroying-the-mets-and-must-be-stopped/
Jose Bautista Watch update: now 2/11/.276, with an eye-popping .476 OBP. (Hey, I get my kicks where I can find them.)
Suggestion: Teach Dom Smith how to bunt.
Never too late to learn !
Jason, as long as we’re doing songs, and in reference to your Pink Floyd allusion the other day, here’s one (also Pink Floyd-based) I made up for this year’s Mets. Thanks also to Greg for his numerous song parodies over the years.
The New York Mets’ 2018 Season
(with apologies to Jacob deGrom and Brandon Nimmo)
(sung to the tune of Another Brick in the Wall)
(Part I)
Sandy’s blown another season
Leaving just a travesty
A longshot in the Wilpon handcuffs
Sandy, what else could you do for us?
Sad what you’ve left behind for us.
All in all it was just a shit brand of ball
All in all it was all just stiffs playing ball
(Part II)
We don’t need no run production
We don’t need no ‘pen control
No scoring runners from the basepaths
Coaches left our stiffs forlorn
Hey! Mickey! Leave the spin alone!
All in all they’re playing just a shit brand of ball
All in all you’ve just got has-been stiffs playing ball
We don’t need no pitch location
We don’t need no defense played
No all-or-nothing offense mindset
Coaches, help our kids’ at-bats!
All in all it’s just another shit year of ball
All in all it’s just another shit year of ball
(Coda)
Da-ang! Injured again!
If you don’t take the field, you can’t have production!
How can you have production if you don’t take the field?
You! Yes, you atop the trainer’s table, sit still Cespy!
Michael–WELL DONE!
The other song that relates to the 2018 Mets–is
“They are coming to take me away, Ha, HA”!
OY!
Let’s Go Mets!
Thanks, Bob! Glad you liked it! We have to have something to like, because apparently it won’t be this year’s won-loss record. I predict a repeat of 1993: 59-103, and that’s after improving by jettisoning or DLing or benching all the veterans and letting all the young players gain valuable experience. It sure feels like 1993 all over again.
They say a team is never as good as it looks when it’s winning and never as poor as it looks when it’s losing. However, this team is as poor as it looks or worse.
Tonight’s lineup features Dom Smith in left field as the cleanup hitter. Kevin Plawecki, who prolonged our agony yesterday, gets rewarded with a start tonight at first base. And Jose Reyes, whose defensive abilities border on hopeless, gets a second straight start at short.
Yes, this team is as bad as they look.
It has taken me at least two decades to start rooting for another team due to the Mets being so bad (last time, early 90’s when Atlanta was doing their version of Sherman’s March thru the NL East), but now I’m following the Astros. Why? Because they give the fan the expectation of winning each and every time they take the field. The Mets simply give the fan the expectation of losing every time they take the field.
Right, the Mets under Alderson reminds me of the infatuation that Vince Jr. had with slow lumbering wrestles in the 80’s: lots of bulk, little talent/skills and the only way to win was to participate in squash matches.
Which, if you really think about it, I don’t think that the Mets will ever win a squash match, simply because there is no one out there today, in either league, that can be that squash opponent.
I have had enough. I am going to tell the Mets what they need to do (besides sell the team, which we are not lucky enough for that to happen).
1) Hire Joe Girardi as a Consultant for Baseball Operations. In today’s Daily News Joe said:
“I would definitely listen. I love just being around the game, because it’s what I’ve grown up doing my whole life. I’m not just married to managing,” said Girardi. “I would listen to anything, but I would like to manage again.”
2) Task Girardi with searching for a new GM
3) Once GM is found, Sandy will be promoted to VP or retire
4) GM will start overhauling minor league system. Joe can either help him or her and wait, or decide to manage immediately.
You may hear me on sports talk radio over the next few days proposing this plan. I have all summer off and this is my goal. I may also reach out to Joe Girardi…I said hi to him once at Stop and Shop LOL. But seriously, anyone have an email for him? All are free to help me with my proposal.