EXT. — NIGHT. OUTSIDE SHEA STADIUM.
FAN
I didn't see the end of the game! One thing happened! And then another! And I got busy! And I didn't see what happened! So what happened! Did we win, Valentin? Or did we lose?
VALENTIN
(glumly)
We lost.
FAN
Lost? To the Cardinals? That ragtag outfit with like 200 guys on the DL? No!
VALENTIN
I'm afraid so.
FAN
And what did you do? I had to go in like the seventh, man. It was tied! What happened?
VALENTIN
I made an error. And tied up the game with a double with two outs in the ninth. And made an error.
FAN
You already said that. I'm confused. What does that mean? What did you do, Valentin?
The crazed FAN begins shaking VALENTIN back and forth in a frenzy.
FAN
Now I want to know how it happened and why!
VALENTIN
I don't know what you're talking about. This is the most insane … the craziest thing I ever …
The FAN shakes Valentin harder.
FAN
Stop it! I'll make it easy. What role did you play?
VALENTIN looks at the heavens.
VALENTIN
I'll tell you the truth.
FAN
That's good.
VALENTIN
I was the goat …
FAN
For the error? But you drove in the tying run!
The fan smacks Valentin. He stares back.
FAN
I said the truth!
VALENTIN
… I was the hero ….
The fan smacks Valentin again.
VALENTIN
… I was the goat.
The fan smacks Valentin yet again. SCOTT SCHOENEWEIS appears on the other side of the parking lot. He sees what's happening and slips off unobserved. Which is probably for the best.
VALENTIN
… the hero.
Another smack.
VALENTIN
(woozily)
The goat, the hero.
The fan finally knocks Valentin into an SUV.
VALENTIN
I was the hero AND the goat!
The fan looks at Valentin, shocked.
VALENTIN
Understand? Or is it too tough for you?
WILLIE RANDOLPH emerges from the Mets clubhouse and takes Valentin by the arm. He leads him off across the parking lot, pausing to glare at the still-confused fan.
WILLIE
Forget it, Jose. It's Flushingtown.
ENDYGON
Nothing to be done.
NADYMIR
I'm beginning to come round to that opinion. All my life I've tried to put it from me, saying Nadymir, be reasonable, you haven't yet tried everything. And I resumed the struggle. So there you are again.
::repeat ad infinitum::