A man built a field
A man said quirky!
Is what I'll yield
I'll make one wall close
Make one wall far
I'll make another wall stand
Behind something bizarre
Gonna have a hill
Gonna put it where?
Puttin' it in center
Nobody digs it
Everyone complains
But at least there's a roof
In the event it rains
Two teams played a game
Two teams played forever
What time would they finish?
The teams said “whenever”
Cut to the chase
Get to the point
Arrive in the fourteenth
A victor to anoint
Lamb on first
Burke on third
Joe Smith on the mound
Now isn't this absurd?
Houston had Scott
I've heard that before
They once had a Scott
From the hardware store
Not that Scott
It wasn't Mike
But with first and third
What was there to like?
One out was needed
To keep things tied
When Luke Scott connected
We nearly died
His ball is long
His ball is deep
His ball might end it
That Houston creep
Wait just a minute!
Wait just a sec!
His ball is headed
It's heading for the hill
It's heading there now
It's gonna take a miracle
Scott can take a bow
The hill is quirky
The hill is high
I suspect the same
Of the architect guy
It's a Crosley tribute?
Unique incline?
The rest of us think
It's just asinine
Nobody could catch up
Nobody could hope
Unless Carlos Beltran
Was workin' his lope
Carlos ran long
Carlos ran deep
Carlos kept climbing
Carlos went steep
He lunged and he grabbed
He secured it and soon
He fell and held on
Like he was Al Toon
The Astros were stopped
At the one-foot line
Wanna play some more?
The Mets said “fine”
Is truly the pits
I mean can you believe
Where that silly hill sits?
But hitting it to Beltran
Is your mistake
Boo him all you want
He drove in the winner
The 'pen did the rest
Tal's Hill is the worst
That catch was the best!
Someone who reads all the blogs will yell at me for posting this, but I'm still shocked that nobody has had a career-ending injury on that stupid hill.
I don't know how you do that. Perfect rhyme, perfect rhythm, and 21 links, all at 4 in the morning!
I didn't even have the energy to stay up to keep track of the game. To my shame, I lost faith before extra frames.
So can we build our own terrain in CitiField, too? How about a little drain gutter down the third base line, just wide enough for a baseball, and just long enough for Reyes to leg out a base hit every time? If he's hustling, that is.
That center field sobriety test is just ridiculous.
I'm surprised there's not a mechanical bull out there as well.
Thank God for the break..I think we all need one now
I like the hill.
But I also like “The Ballad of Carlos Beltran.”
A-Freakin'-men, brother.
Regroup, and start getting our regulars back. Please.