Holy Metrimony

Good day. And it is a good day. We are here to join Heather Ann Roettinger and Matthew Wren Enis in holy metrimony.

I mean matrimony. Holy matrimony.

It is a particular joy to wed this couple because they are kind people. They have scheduled their nuptials for this, a Saturday afternoon, no doubt fully aware that the Mets don't play until 7:05 tonight.

Let's Go Mets! Let's Go Mets!

I mean Matt.

And Heather, of course.

The two of you wed at a very fortuitous time. The final Mets game to take place before your betrothal to each other was Friday night. As your marriage will most definitely be, it was a success.

Tonight, as you start your lives together, Pedro Martinez takes to the hill. Will Mike Piazza be behind the plate? Or will Ramon Castro?

These are the kinds of questions all young couples must face. For while it is the kind of power Mike is suddenly providing again that we all seek, sometimes we need a personal catcher. Sometimes we need a guiding hand to get our own Pedro Martinez through seven innings or more without a wild pitch.

Be kind to each other. Be patient. Sometimes Pedro has his problems in the first inning. And realize there is no insult intended in choosing a personal catcher. There will always be the opportunity for Mike to pinch-hit if necessary.

May you be each other's personal catcher. And may you be more forthright about it than Willie Randolph has been. “Mike is feeling a little banged up.” Yeah, right.

May your love for each other soar as high as Mike's first home run last night. At its ebb, may it soar as high as Mike's second home run last night which was no mean shot. Didja see that? Holy metrimony! That was like 900 feet of homers. Take that, Brewers!

Too, may your love always come back full-force like Mike Cameron has off the Disabled List. May you adapt and adjust as Cammy has, moving to right field to accommodate the other when one of you signs Carlos Beltran. May you feel as comfortable in the two-hole as Cameron looked last night.

May you have the presence of mind to drop Kaz Matsui to the eighth slot so he might regain his batting eye.

Not all days in a marriage are the days when Pedro pitches. There will be nights when you are forced to use Victor Zambrano. As you would with each other, be patient with Victor Zambrano, but don't be afraid to send him to Norfolk. In marriage as in life, sometimes we all must go to Norfolk. Look what it did for Bobby Jones in 2000 and Steve Trachsel in 2001.

Don't be afraid to send Victor Zambrano down. You will still have Jae Seo. And each other.

Look for the good in one another. Zambrano had two hits on the eve of your marriage. Why can't more pitchers hit anyway?

When you seek relief in each other's eyes, look to the bullpen of your hearts. May it be a rich and fertile pen. As wedding bells ring for you, may Heath Bell have another good outing like last night. Willie just stayed with him a little too long is all.

When your Heath Bell runs out of gas, have faith in your Roberto Hernandez. Don't be concerned about the lefty-righty matchups life may deal you. As you would trust one another with your well-being, trust Roberto to face Geoff Jenkins.

Dae-Sung Koo? Please.

Life is a journey. We all learn along the way. Willie Randolph is still learning. Be patient with Willie. He's just getting to know his bullpen in earnest.

Lean on each other in marriage, but don't lean on Looper too often. That's a disaster just waiting to happen. Two days of Burrell, then Carlos Lee. Phew!

Every marriage presents its Carlos Lees. There will be nights when Cliff Floyd doesn't make that catch to end the game. But there will be more nights when he does.

Cliff Floyd rules. It's something we should all remember. While his twenty-game hitting streak came to an end, his excellence, like your love for one another, will endure. Or so we pray.

Let us pray.

Dear Lord, give this young couple the strength and the fortitude to persevere in an uncertain world.

Give Pedro the strength to top 90 miles per hour despite going on normal rest. Give Pedro the strength to give Looper the night off. Give Carlos Lee the night off while you're at it. He's scary.

Amen.

As you leave here as husband and wife, we wish you nothing but happiness, joy and a four-game winning streak.

Let's Go Mets! Let's Go Mets!

I mean Matt.

And Heather, of course.