Dearly beloved, when Rupert here was a student at the Clifton High School, none of us — myself, his teachers, his classmates — dreamt that he would amount to a hill of beans. But we were wrong, and you, Rupert, you were right. And that’s why tonight, before the entire nation, we’d like to apologize to you personally and to beg your forgiveness for all the things we did to you. And we’d like to thank you personally, all of us, for the meaning you’ve given our lives.
—George Cap, Rupert Pupkin’s high school principal, The King of Comedy
Enough of…Miguel Cairo — let the kids show us what they might have, instead of taking another look at useless veterans who should be released and spare parts for next year’s bench.
If we’re worried about a glut of middle infielders, why not send Miguel Cairo packing?
…the stupendously useless Miguel Cairo is playing anyway.
Look no further than…Miguel Cairo. Blessedly, [he] found a place to sit on Sunday.
…I’d have flipped over to watch a meaningless Met game in a second. A nanosecond. A half-nanosecond. Even if Miguel Cairo [was] in the starting lineup…
Hey, the Marlins can have Miguel Cairo if they ask nice.
Better to be king for a night than schmuck for a lifetime.
—Rupert Pupkin
Am I wrong or are all of those Jason's mutterings? Maybe you should give Miguel a call, Jace, or send a note or something.
Feh. If the Marlins ask nice they can still have him. I wanna see Anderson Hernandez there tonight. (Though with the D-Train coming AGAIN, that's not such a kind thing to say.)
One of the see-ya-later-Cairogators was mine; giving up on our walkoff heroes a week in advance of their heroics is a team effort around here. Plus he was chosen Least Valuable Player in the most recent version of the exceedingly popular short-season awards.
Faith and Fear offers its Miguel Culpa with one voice…except for the guy who wants to throw him overboard the morning after the night he finally did something.
Augggh! Splash!
“Guess I was wrong — he could hit water if dropped off a boat.”