Expression of resigned exasperation with latest result.
Acknowledgement that result doesn’t matter at this stage of season, yet it is always frustrating to encounter this sort of result.
Link to article spelling out game details.
Snarky aside.
Key example of what went wrong in game.
Assertion of saving grace, focusing on how this was just one game and player who committed key example of what went wrong in game will hopefully improve.
Snide allusion to disliked secondary player’s particularly poor performance.
Expression of resigned exasperation that big picture is as bleak as latest result.
Link to article about newest discouraging development.
Passing attempt to project what newest discouraging development means for foreseeable future.
Explicit admission that future can’t be foreseen but newest discouraging development is indeed discouraging.
Weaving together of various recent discouraging developments so as to suggest overarching discouraging trend that makes rooting for team difficult.
Allusion to most embarrassing recent discouraging development that constitutes most disturbing manifestation of trend.
Link to terrible article illustrating dimwitted coverage of recent discouraging development.
Link to good article serving as counterweight to dimwitted coverage.
Half-hearted analysis of most embarrassing recent discouraging development (undermined by personal conviction that most recent discouraging development was very much a non-story, yet not commenting on it at all after a few days doesn’t feel right, either).
Link to archived blog post to demonstrate longstanding pattern of discouraging developments.
Conclusion of analysis finding all parties are at least partially at fault (should include at least one point nobody else has made).
Assertion of enduring fondness for team in spite of all prevailing evidence that team has become too exasperating to inspire any fondness whatsoever.
Expression of dismay that season will soon be over in spite of latest result, recent discouraging developments and bleak big picture.
Link to archived blog post from when things were better to serve as reminder that things aren’t always this bad.
Gratuitous reference to Mike Hessman (optional).
Even-handed praise of well-written article.
Commiseration with author over sad state of franchise.
Backhanded compliment over article’s length.
Resigned vow to continue to support team out of combination of tradition and masochism.
TEAM CHANT IN ALL CAPS!
Good template Greg.
Now we just need Mets game Mad Libs….
Oliver Perez says he can _____________(verb) the Mets if they’d just put him in the starting _________________(noun). Thousands of ______________ (adjective) Mets fans responded by declaring, “_____________________”(expletive)
Just a word on the Orwellian minute of hate being directed toward these 3 players. I think the fact that they are Latino has as much to do with this as their on-field performance (whether Beltran deserves it or not is another question.) There’s something about this Walter Reed business that smacks of the kind of Sept. 11th mind-fuck that has turned major sporting events into pro-war rallies. I’ll never forget the first game played at Citi Stadium when those jet fighters flew over. What the hell does a display of military might have to do with the national pastime?
More thoughts on that here:
http://louisproyect.wordpress.com/2008/06/17/baseball-and-capitalism/
Sure there’s the Latino issue– now that the new Mets” “spokesmen” are suburban white-guys like Thole, Pelfrey, and Parnell– but, let’s face it, the Walter Reed visit would not have been an issue if the Mets were winning. The NY press loves nothing more than to pounce on a team when it’s down and the Mets provide them with endless fodder for ridicule. The only mystifying factor is the extent that Mets ownership eggs on this kind of schoolyard negativity instead of quietly getting its house in order and putting a quality team on the field.