OK, so that would have made a lousy song title. And it won't necessarily make for a hugely enjoyable season of winning baseball. But it's what we've got. And, perhaps inspired by your cry to “Stand pat!”, I found tonight that it's enough for me.

I had to inspired by something, because it sure wasn't tonight's […]

Turns out Gerald Williams is good in the clubhouse. Doug Mientkiewicz said so on Mets Extra, pointing out how Geriatric Gerald was exercising all kinds of great influence on Jose, which obviously paid off in Philadelphia Tuesday night. Well, I thought, maybe that's worth something, if not an entire roster spot.

Ed Coleman, who likes to […]

So Reyes, hearing Cameron's footsteps in the leadoff spot, goes three for five with two runs scored and Bieseresque havoc created. Mientkiewicz, hearing Daubach's footsteps at first base, blasts a double and a homer and scores two runs of his own. Daubach, hearing Minky's footsteps possibly returning to first base, hits a pinch-hit homer to […]

Good one about the Mets recalling Gerald Williams. You're funny. I almost believed it, too. I particularly admire the way you somehow engineered it so the entire New York sporting media would go along with the joke. I saw this news everywhere. Whad'dya do, get inside my hard drive or something? Well, whatever. Hats off […]

The Good News

1. There is no way we lose tonight.

2. Kaz Matsui placed on the DL. His bruised knee is suddenly serious. His bats, on the other hand, have been blissfully bruise-free for months. (Rimshot.)

3. Mike DeJean released. Hopefully we also set fire to his personal effects. Let us never, ever speak of him again.

The […]

I know the intonations in Gary Cohen's voice better than I know my own father's. Then again, despite my affection for the man whose DNA I share, I don't hang on Dad's every word for three hours at a clip most every night for six months.

Given that it was Father's Day in the United States […]

Tell me about our new park. Please tell me something. Please tell me anything.

10. Mets' dugout certain to be roomier without unnecessary bat rack taking up space.

9. Home Run Apple replaced by the Single Raisin.

8. During games, DiamondVision will air complete DVD collection of The Sopranos, including bonus features, to satisfy fans' otherwise unfulfilled desire […]

I give up. No, not forever, but until this team gets its head out of its collective butt. Which will be … well, if you know, please tell me.

When your team can't hit, on one level it's hard to evaluate anything they're doing — in a way they aren't your team at all, but a […]

WARNING!

Hard drive titled NEW YORK METS is unable to access offense at this time.

Default system requirement for NEW YORK METS offense is between 4 and 6 R.

NEW YORK METS offense byte remaining is zero.

NEW YORK METS offense will not run on this operating system.

Please restart NEW YORK METS offense.

Disk titled DAUBACH insufficient for restart of […]

Wow. So it is.

Look at the luminaries who bestrode the globe then for us. Hot Rod Hundley — did zip. Ryan Thompson — went 0 for 3, probably on about seven pitches for the afternoon. At least Fonzie hit a triple, which I guarantee we cheered wildly. (Bonilla hit a triple, which I doubt we […]