Don't let Time Warner and Jim Dolan and Fran Healy bring you down on your first day of spring-training watching. You did something Harvey Haddix couldn't do in 1967: You made Al Schmelz into something resembling a Major League pitcher.I hope Leiter, Delgado and the agent who came in through the bathroom window are very […]

Maybe it's just the years of trouble and embarrassment — or my own paranoia — but I can feel the controversies and woes swarming us like horseflies on a fishing trip, trying to land and draw some blood. So far no bites, but the buzzing is making me edgy. 

Was 60 pitches too many on a cold day for Pedro and […]

A rainout?! On March 3? For the first telecast taking place outside work hours? That hurt. All rainouts before the last week of April are cruel, but when it's the second day of the exhibition season and New York resembles the surface of Pluto, that's twisting the knife something fierce. I sulked, bi-doop bi-doop bi-dooped my way through a […]

I sent Pussy to this doctor. The guy gives him the works. MRIs, CAT Scans, dog scans, you name it. And he says there's not a fucking thing wrong with his back. Then again, he says, when it comes to backs, nobody knows anything really.–Paulie Walnuts

The phalanx of columnists, analysts and scouts — unnamed scouts, […]

The first day of spring training went pretty much as I thought it would: After an inning I paid almost no attention (though being at work ensured I couldn't), the Mets lost and made like 47 errors and I was still giddy.

This morning the papers are surprisingly upbeat, oohing and aahing over Matsui's two […]

Ohmigod, there's a guy named Hinckley pitching for Washington. Who came up with that one — Mark Russell?

C'mon boys, the game's at handWe don't wanna say we lost herPlease tell our pitcher to concentrateOn the batter and not Jodie FosterTopical, too.Yes, pretend games are on the air. ESPN is covering this with three announcers and […]

Victor Zambrano (19 strikes out of 30 pitches) is the papers' subject du jour, which of course means Scott Kazmir's riding shotgun. Zambrano said he doesn't concern himself with Kazmir, but our local scribes won't give him that choice. You just know some paper or other will run a graphic comparing every start of Zambrano's with every start of […]

There's really such a thing as the Junior League? And it's not where they sent Jay Kleven and Ike Hampton every fall to work on mechanics? I'll be damned. This is like finding out after years of watching Bugs Bunny that Al Jolson and war bonds actually existed. Or that people truly put Christmas trees […]

Ah, spring training. Jose Reyes gets picked off twice, Kaz Matsui makes an error (scored a hit) at second, and everybody's pleased. On February 28, sure. On April 28, no.

I know it counts for nothing, but it was nice to see the real lineup (minus Cameron) assembled. Switching Cameron and Diaz, it looks like this (sub Galarraga […]